The Rolls-Royce people say that these days most of their customers choose to drive their own cars, at least from time to time. It's easy to see why. The Phantom comes with a 6.75-litre V12 engine capable of shunting to 100km/h in just 5.7 seconds. Such talk is distasteful, of course, but it does indicate the fact that despite it weighing more than two-and-a-half tons, the Phantom is not terrible to drive.

On the contrary. It makes rapid progress, the steering is light and accurate, and city driving is a real joy.

But it's the noise that will blow you away. It's the tinnitus-inducing silence that will get you. After a while you settle down, exquisitely comfortable in your seat, socks nestling in the deep carpet. You find yourself floating in a bubble of total calm, of serenity and placidity. It is so quiet, and you're so somnolent with tranquility, that the use of an indicator, that gentle tick-tock tick-tock, can astound you. It's like the grandfather clock chiming noon in an otherwise silent library of a great and grand English country house.

This is aided, of course, by the ride. I frequently praise cars for their communication, for they way they tell the driver exactly what is going on by the feel of the steering. The Rolls is different. It quite deliberately shields you from the harsh realities of the road surface, from the mundanities of handling and surface irregularities. It is truly like floating about on a bed of marshmallows, hot chocolate and Scotch.

All this is like a drug. It is addictive and it floods the body with a deep sense of wellbeing and contentment. It physically separates you from the travails of travelling about a city in which people drive badly. You are incapable of road rage in a Phantom. It would be unseemly to get cross – and anyway, you don't get cross. You just can't. It feels below you to get upset when a silly little man in a silly little Mercedes-Benz or a gauche little Audi cuts you off or fails to indicate. Go for it, you say to him quietly, because I'm perfectly happy right here.

Traffic is not a bad place to be in the Phantom, largely because it takes you somewhere else – to a different time, even. This makes it the best commuter vehicle on earth. In fact, when Rolls-Royce says it's the best car in the world, it's hard to disagree. Really, which car is better? Which car is better conceived, better built or better designed? Indeed, the Phantom is very real, and it is the undisputed monarch of the motoring world.

SPECS
Price: POA (but if you’re asking…)
Engine: 6.75-litre V12
Maximum Power: 340kW
Maximum Torque: 720Nm
0-100km/h in: 5.7 seconds
Maximum Speed: 240km/h (electronically limited)

» Extract taken from '25 Cars To Drive Before You Die' by Alexander Parker. Available in stores and online.