What do you want to hear about? Do you want me to tell you about how fast this thing is? Do you want to know how well it handles? Do you want me to compare it to the old Z3 M Coupe? Well, I’ve only got a small portion of one page to work with, so let’s just get on with it.

I’m not going to waste time or space talking about irrelevant issues like fuel consumption, or how refined the current M3 engine that’s fitted to the Z4 M coupe is, because you already know. Hopefully.

What’s important here are things like speed and agility, and this car has got heaps of it. I was told by a local BMW representative that the new M Coupe wasn’t built as a successor to the old M Coupe, but rather a successor to the defunct M3 GTR project. Basically, when a manufacturer wants to go racing at Le Mans, or other endurance formulas, they’ve got to build a certain amount of road-going versions of their racecar for homologation purposes. That’s why there’s a handful of V8-powered M3s floating around overseas.

But this time BMW has decided to go into regular production with its homologation special. That pretty much sums this car up. It’s a road-going racecar. Forget the fact that the racing version has a huge wing, a roll cage and around 300kW. Within the first two minutes behind the wheel you know the new M Coupe is more at home at the circuit than on the street. It’s loud, it’s firm, it’s relatively uncomfortable and it’s fast.

Sure, you can say that it’s just an M Roadster with a hard top, but there’s actually much more than meets the eye. The M Coupe is 100% more rigid than its ragtop sibling. It might not mean that much to you, but it’s important. Trust me. A very famous racing driver once told me he can feel the structural rigidity of a car between the steering wheel and the pedals. Try it one day. Turn your car sharply, and see if you can feel it flex. Probably not, but if you do the same with this car, you’ll notice. Promise. It all reflects in the car’s performance. It’s a pain in the ass – literally.

See how much space I’ve already wasted? I still need to tell you so much. Like the fact it’s supposed to be limited to 250km/h, but I had the needle firmly pointed at 270 (don’t tell anyone). Or when you’ve got the DSC button switched off, and the sport button switched on, and you drop the clutch. Whoa! This thing is a handful. If you’re not a fairly skilled driver, best stay away.

Or at least stay away from those buttons, anyway. Leave that DSC switched on, and it’s a different car. I would like to actually take it around the track to see how far I could push before spinning. That little button gives a false sense of invincibility. It just sticks.

But I need to save this last bit of space for some pet hates. Firstly, the steering wheel is just too fat and chunky. Imagine trying to swing a baseball bat turned the wrong way around. No Control. That’s what it reminds me of. The 3-litre Z4 Coupe is fitted with a normal BMW steering wheel and it feels much better to me.

Also, the clutch is too heavy. Fine for racing drivers with dik left legs, but too much for normal people. Accelerating from a stop in a civilised manner is simply impossible. The Z4 M Coupe just wants to go.

So, what can I say? Great car. But between you and me… I prefer the old one. This one’s just too manic. But maybe that’s a good thing.